Saturday, July 3: Lists.

Since the greater part of today was spent cleaning and blowing up vacuum cleaners (RIP 25 year old Electrolux. RIP.), I've decided to do something a little different today.

So, I give you, in no particular order, the 

Top ten things I wish I knew when I was in high school that I know now. 

 1. Narwhals are real, and they're magnificent.

2. "Tomboy" is not a fashion statement. You'll look back at your choices, slap your forehead and vow to burn every picture of you in shirts vaguely resembling your parks uniform. 

3. Though I feel eternally grateful I never found them to buy them, STOP WANTING JNCO JEANS AND DON'T TELL EVERYBODY YOU WANT THEM.

4. Whatever it is, don't worry about it. It probably won't matter in a few months, let alone a few years. Math finals will disappear from memories, teenage tiffs will resolve and that boy you like won't remember the time you fell up the stairs at graduation. 

5. Do not avoid problems. Do not avoid situations because they're hard and they hurt. When everything's said and done, you'll really really regret not facing your fears and being there. Suck it up and deal with it. 

6. Family is absolutely the best asset you have. Use it. 

7. When you hear a weird scraping noise coming from the engine of your car, don't try to make it home. It's likely a leak in the oil pan, and it will mean the death of your baby. Maybe read a car manual or something. 

8. Chrissy says hi. This is not something I wish I knew earlier, because she has told me to say hi to people in the past, BUT it seems relevant right now.

9. Do not get second degree burns on your back. Please listen to Bachman and wear sunscreen, because when you're 24, you'll STILL have burn marks from high school bathing suits on your back.

10. STUDY. Guess what? The future actually does depend on your high school marks. Pay attention, do everything on time and get extra help. 

There you go!